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Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Wellness Journal | Pre-Cannabis Study Notes

This is my very last journal before my meeting with the doctor on August 13, 2014. I'm nervous, but confident in what I'm proposing. I know without a doubt this is happening to me and I have Parkinson's.

I watched a video today of Michael J Fox, I'm reading his book right now, too. I feel it in my bones that I have Parkinson's. I've never felt the other diagnoses like this. There was always a nagging doubt in the back of my head, but now there's just certainty....that the doctors are only guessing. The only person who knows what I'm going through is another Parkinson's patient. I'm looking for one that has taken the oil, but I haven't found him or her just yet, but I will.

I also know that I'm going to beat this!!!!
  
Today is Friday, August 8, 2014. Yay!!
Pain Level:
6 out of 10. (10 = worst.)

Symptoms: 
convulsing, left fongertips, left wrist, left neck, three dizzy spells today.


Progression notes: 
I laid down on my stomach after making love with my neck to the right and my body convulsed in my torso area for a good three minutes. I wanted to cry. I no longer have any control over my body. In that moment I decided to lose control and just let be. I shouldn't worry how others see me, but I do. I have to learn to let go of that fear because it will consume me. Instead I will retrain my brain to remember in such times that control is overrated.

Today is Saturday, August 10, 2014.
Pain Level:
7.5 out of 10. 10 = worst.

Symptoms: 
Right hand started hurting two days ago then my right wrist hurt, then my forearm and bicep. Today my right shoulder and neck hurt, too. My left arm hurts worse, too. A lot of pain today.

Progression notes: 
Two arms in pain. Yay, me.

12pm after smoking
Photo(s) of Left Hand:





Photo(s) of Right Hand:

Mental: 
I'm doing good today except that I keep finding myself being negative about things. I need to believe. I need to watch the secret again.

Happiness Level:
2 out of 10 (10 being the worst.)

Stress Level: 
4 out of 10. (10 being worst.)


Marijuana consumption:
Several bowls this morning and a couple to help with pain.

What I did today:
We got up went out for breakfast at Meños, made love, went to Kmart to get water dispenser because I'm having a difficult time lifting our water jugs.

Conclusion/question: 
I need to drink more lavender kava tea! It helps me with my stress and to sleep. Not to mention how delicious it is! Mmm!!!

Today is Monday, August 11, 2014.

Pain Level: 
8 out of 10. (10 being the worst.)

Symptoms: 
I've been experiencing some shocks to both hands and it causes excruciating pain. Very difficult to hold things or even drive. 😕 severe cramping today, neck and shoulder pain of both sides.



What's going on in my life today:
Lazy day mostly, did a lot of research. Read Michael J Fox. What I read made me sad bc I see so much of myself in his early symptoms. Learned my grandfather was in Korean War. I think he was exposed to agent orange hence his strokes, cancer and Alzheimer's.

Mental: 
I cried a little, but sticking to positivity!

Happiness Level: 
2 out of 10. (10 being the worst.)

Stress Level: 
2 out of 10. (10 being worst.)

Bedtime and Sleep issues: 
Pain while I slept last night.

Marijuana consumption: 
A lot!

Note to self: 
Find body outline to mark pain for blog.


Today is Tuesday, August 12, 2014.
Symptoms: 
8 am: Right side hurts worse today. Cramping in my left shoulder blade. Lots of tremors. Can't control them today and I'm getting stressed about whether or not people will notice at tonight's meeting.
Pain level: 7 out of 10 (10 = worst).
11:19 am: Excrutisting pain. I've been in tears for two hours. 😪 I wish I could cancel tonight's meeting, but I am needed. :(
Pain level: 9 out of 10 (10 = worst).


Mental: 
I need to stop focusing on the negative and start focusing on what I want so positivity can flow easily.

Marijuana consumption:
I'm having a hard time smoking, makes me cough. 

What I did today: 
Dude, I had the best time at the potluck tonight! It was super, super fun! I loved it! And I got so high and happy!!! My estranged sister called. We haven't spoken just yet, but the call will be as its supposed to be...I don't have fear because I miss her. I love her. And because only the universe knows the best possible outcome. 

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